Thursday, March 19, 2009

Part 3 of: On being a Fashion Extraordinaire.

More Q&A from Ev'Yan at apricot-tea.com, about being a Fashion Extraordinaire.

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Should your style statement be something that you are comfortable in or one that looks good on you and that others compliment you for?
I think it should be a mix of both, but the majority being something that you are comfortable in. Some people might prefer you in long dresses, dripping with pearls, but if that is not your taste or your character, you'll be uncomfortable. Your style in general should always perfectly convey everything you're about, & everything you stand for. & this doesn't just apply to clothes. Your style statement reflects the relationships you have in your life, the music you listen to, the way you decorate your house, & so on. It's so important that you know precisely what you like, in all aspects of life, not just fashion. In the end, everything kind of reflects off of each other. (For a better idea of what a Style Statement is, take a look at mine.)

I've fallen into a rut when it's time for bed…I put on an old t-shirt and shorts. Help! I want to look sexy, soft and feminine without wearing lingerie that rides up my butt. What do you recommend?
I hear you on this one, because while lingerie is very pretty, it is also very impractical. I've never understood how some women will spend hundreds of dollars on fancy lingerie, when ultimately, the goal is to come OUT of it, not to wear it all night. Personally, I think lingerie is uncomfortable to sleep in. I mean, really: could you really sleep in something like this? It looks more complicated than it does pretty.

A better alternative would be a nightie. Something light & feminine, made of comfortable material, that is equally easy to sleep in, as well as pretty to look at. Victoria's Secret has some lovely, but practical ones to choose from, in all sorts of colors & sizes.

Another more simpler choice -- which I usually pick for myself -- is just a tank top, with shorts. It's still very feminine, but without much fuss. Target also has some great sleepwear, which is a lot less pricey than Victoria's Secret.

& if all else fails, just sleep naked.

Does hair grow longer in the summer or winter months?
It's not the question of longer, actually. It's faster. Hair (as well as toe nails) grows faster in the summer months. In the winter, the growth process slows down a little bit. I don't know exactly why this is. I can only assume that because of the heat, maybe our bodies are more apt to produce more hair. Either way, it can be a pain in the butt when you're trying to get rid of hair for the summer months, especially in your bikini area.

I have an old vintage (1940's) black pearl bracelet. Could I wear it with jeans or should I go for more of a chic look?
You could wear that with anything, chic or laid-back! Mixing vintage with modern is really hot right now, so pairing a bracelet like that with jeans & a nicer shirt/blouse would be ideal. You could even add a few more (modern) bracelets against the pearls to give it more interest & depth. Layering will jewelry can accentuate it better.

How do you keep your skin so smooth and clear?
Ever since I switched to being vegetarian, I've noticed a big difference in the way my skin looks. It's a lot more clear & even toned. I also drink a lot of water, so that helps with keeping it clear, too. I make sure that I take off my makeup every night with a makeup remover/cleaner. I am strongly against falling asleep with makeup on. It's so bad for your skin, & regular warm water doesn't do it quite as well as a cleanser would.

I do get breakouts still; especially around that "time of the month." But I try to take care of my skin at all times so that the breakouts aren't as consistent or bothersome. If you give your skin a strict cleaning schedule, & you stick with that religiously, I'm sure you will notice a difference in how your skin responds. What helps, too, is knowing your skin. Knowing if it's dry, oily, or combination helps a lot, because you can then decide which products you can use that will help your skin. If you have oily skin, & you're putting an oily moisturizer on top of it, you'll notice a lot of breakouts. It really helps to know your skin personally, so that you can customize your own cleaning regimen.

But don't over clean! I'm sure it's tempting to use several different methods of cleansers & masks to get that damned zit off of your face before your big date, but leave it be. By over cleaning -- & over stimulating, say, with exfoliating or masks -- you're actually doing MORE harm than you are good. & I know it's tempting to pop that zit, but it's better if you don't. Just let your skin be. Your skin has the potential to heal itself, if you let it. & whenever you get the chance to, let your skin breathe, keeping makeup off of it for several hours a day -- preferably at bed time.

How do I decide when it's time to try a new hairstyle?
Honestly, whenever you start getting bored with the one you have now. There really isn't a "life-span" for hairstyles... unless if what you have now is really, really modern or avant-garde.

You could change your hair with the seasons, but only if it's bothering you. Because I'm sure when it's really hot outside, having a long, lengthy hairstyle will be a pain for you. So maybe keep it slightly shorter, with a lighter haircolor -- because dark colors absorbs heat -- in the summer months would be good. But it's not really necessary. I think with hair, you're able to be a little more laid-back with the styles if you want. There aren't really any rules to how you should wear your hair during the months, or when you should change it. Whatever you're comfortable with is your ideal hairstyle.


What styles are in right now?
With hair, there are so many styles to choose from. You've got the pixie cut, the modern bob haircut, long layers, different color schemes, & any kind of variation in between. There are SO many styles to choose from when it comes to hair.

If you are considering changing your hairstyle, I highly suggest looking at hair magazines, especially from other countries. Places like the United Kingdom & Europe are a few years ahead of us when it comes to trends & fashions, mainly with hair. If you ever get a chance to, look at some of the magazines from those countries (they're usually found in regular bookstores like Barnes & Noble, in the magazine section). You'll see that they're way more progressive, fun, & bold.

If you find a hairstyle in a magazine that has attributes of the hairstyle you like, by all means, try it out! But be sure to tell your stylist PRECISELY what you want. You might think that you're being persnickety, but those details are completely necessary in giving you the style you want. So be very, very specific & bring lots of pictures.

On your blog, you have a statement t-shirt. Would that work for someone that is 45 years old and up?
I absolutely think you could wear a shirt like that; why not? Especially if you write something that is meaningful or sentimental to you. Not all trends are meant for the "youngins." Anyone can embrace them, if they have the confidence to do so. That's all it's about... confidence! If you have an air about you that just oozes confidence & "with-it-ness" anything can look good on you. Even if you have to "fake it 'till you feel it."

For example, Redbook magazine does a feature every month in their magazine where their cover girls (in ALL age groups!) wear a shirt that says "I Love My _______ Life." & inside of the blanks, they put whatever adjective(s) or phrases they want. You could easily do the same. Making a statement that is very powerful to you never goes out of style.


Describe a fashion blunder that you experienced and how you fixed it.
My blunder: I remember the first time I realized I was wearing WAY too much makeup. I looked at some pictures that people had taken of me at a party & all I saw was a caked on mess. I had dark all around my eyes, foundation nearly dripping off of my face, & my eyebrows were penciled in far too much. I realized that even though I thought I looked good, the camera captured a different look completely. I looked older, & kind of scary! Not just that, but I could barely recognize myself. All of that goop took away from the natural beauty in my face.

From there, I vowed to never use such a heavy hand when it comes to makeup. When penciling in my eyebrows, I made sure that the pencil matched my hair. (My hair is naturally light brown, but I was using a dark black eye pencil to fill them in. YIKES!) I also made sure that I used very, very light feathery strokes when filling them in, so that they didn't look drawn on.

Changing my foundation habits was the hardest, because if you apply makeup in a poorly lit room, you'll assume you need more than what you really do. & that's exactly what I was doing. I was applying layer upon layer & then I'd catch a glimpse of myself in a better lit room & gasp. It wasn't pretty. So, I literally had to apply my makeup with the blinds wide open -- because fresh, natural daylight is the perfect tell-tale light to use for anything -- & if I felt I needed more coverage, I would walk outside -- yes, outside!! -- with a mirror & see for myself. 9 times out of 10, I had already put too much on already, even with the blinds wide open.

Needless to say, it's takes a lot of practice, courage, & will-power to get yourself out of the blunders & habits you've created for yourself in Beauty. It's so easy to latch onto something because it's routine & it's the way you've always done it. & unfortunately, you'll get your wake up call when seeing yourself on film, or worse, a dear friend might blatantly point it out to you.

Ever since then, I've been better at not being so heavy handed, & I feel more comfortable walking out the front door.

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While my mother has been very gracious in asking a lot of interesting questions, YOUR input is much needed, too! C'mon, guys. Don't be shy. ;]

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I'll keep the questions coming as long as you keep the answers coming.

Should your style statement be something that you are comfortable in or one that looks good on you and that other's compliment you for?


I've fallen into a rut when it's time for bed…I put on an old t-shirt and shorts. Help! I want to look sexy, soft and feminine without wearing lingerie that rides up my butt. What do you recommend?


Does hair grow longer in the summer or winter months?


I have an old vintage (1940's) black pearl bracelet. Could I wear it with jeans or should I go for more of a chic look?


How do you keep your skin so smooth and clear?


How do I decide when it's time to try a new hairstyle?


What styles are in right now?


On your blog, you have a statement t-shirt. Would that work for someone that is 45 years old and up?


Describe a fashion blunder that you experienced and how you fixed it.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Part 2 of: On being a fashion extraordinaire!

More Q&A for Ev'Yan at apricot-tea.com; the "Fashion Extraordinaire!" (According to my very proud mother.)

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What do you recommend for those days when your hair just doesn't do what it's supposed to do? Short of wearing a hat, I had that problem this morning.
There are so many ways to "cover up" a bad hair day. Going back to what I said earlier about adornments, hats, scarves, headbands, bobby pins, etc. are GREAT ways to hide the fact that your hair is being defiant. All kinds of hats are in right now -- berets, fedoras, knitted beanies, newsboy hats -- & they usually can be worn with any kind of outfit. The best way to know for sure is by trying them on before hand. Prepare for the "bad hair day" before it even happens. Experiment with different ways you could wear & pull off a hat. Maybe wear your hair in a low bun (if you have long hair) or flip the ends of your hair up slightly (if you have a bob haircut). You might think, "I look so silly in hats!" but if you're open to the idea, they can absolutely work for you, especially if you take the time to make them work.

Hair accessories are also great ways of hiding a bad hair day. Right now, there are beautiful headbands to choose from & you can go almost anywhere to find them. One of my favorite places to find accessories online is shopruche.com; they have A LOT to choose from, & their prices are fairly reasonable.

& if you STILL don't feel like going the extra mile for hats or headbands, a few simple bobby pins will do. You'd be surprised just how chic your hair can look with some inexpensive bobby pins. Pin your hair back for a faux pompadour look; do little twisties in the front; or simply put a bobby pin on one side of your hair for a slick look. With bobby pins, the possibilities are endless! You'll never know until you try & play around with them a bit.

What beauty products do you swear by or use faithfully?
Lately, I can't get enough of Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula. My feet & heels get very dry during the winter months, so I've been trying to prepare my feet for spring, flip flop weather. Shy of me getting a professional pedicure, where they could buff off the dry, dead skin, I just put a layer of cocoa butter on my feet & heels before bed, put a sock on & go to sleep, & within a few days my feet are smooth! I kid you not; it's amazing! I definitely recommend that.

I also like St. Ives Apricot Scrub; not just because it's a great, low-priced exfoliant, but because they don't test on animals. I'm trying to get more into the habit of only buying animal friendly products.

When polishing my fingernails, the nail polish always wears out on the tips by the next day...why is that and what should I do to prevent that?
You could be applying too heavy of a coat. Usually, chips happen because the coats you're applying are thick & you probably aren't giving them enough time to dry in between reapplying.

Next time you go to paint your nails, apply one thin coat & let it dry completely before applying another layer. I recommend waiting for about 20-30 minutes, because that way you'll know for sure they're dry. If you do thin enough coats, it won't matter if you reapply up to 5 times! It should stay intact a lot better if you make sure that you're applying thinly, & letting them dry completely in between.

One thing I like to do, too, is wear rubber gloves when I'm washing the dishes, or cleaning around the house. The chemicals we use daily -- in dish water, in bathroom & kitchen cleaners -- take a toll not only on our hands, but on our nails. Your nail polish will chip a lot faster when exposed to things like that. I find that when I use dish gloves, I can get a good 2 weeks wear out of my polish. Think of your nail polish -- & the time you use to apply it -- as an investment. I, personally, hate the thought of me spending a few hours on making my nails look perfect, only to go & put them in situations where they could be easily ruined.

What do you consider a fashion "do"?
Tights, of all colors, are a definite DO! Especially for spring dresses & skirts. Floral patterns are a DO! Flat shoes are a DO in my book, but only because I find heels to be completely impractical & terribly unhealthy for your body. (Seriously, not trying to convert anyone, but this article speaks volumes! Why would you want to do such trauma to your feet?!) Dresses & skirts with deep pockets are a DO! Mixing feminine pieces with somewhat masculine pieces (a blazer, perhaps) is a DO! Colorful makeup is a DO! (This article has some GREAT tips & trends about makeup this spring, & in general.)

What do you consider a fashion "don't"?
Ill-fitting clothing is a DON'T! Low-rise jeans is a DON'T! (This is just out of control!) Cakey, gloppy makeup is a DON'T! Certain (passing) trends -- like this, & this, & THIS! -- are a definite DON'T! (More like NEVER.) Obnoxiously loud bling-bling is a DON'T! Not wearing a bra -- or at least not covering up the girls a little better -- is a DON'T!

I could obviously go on for days about the DON'Ts of fashion; & these are very extreme DON'Ts, but still. Don't do them. What matters most is what you do DO!

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Sandi says:
Give me the fashion must for a busy mom who wears jeans every damn day! How can I jazz them up?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing jeans everyday! Especially if you're on the go most of the time. One great way to jazz up jeans is -- yes, I know, I sound like a broken record... but -- accessories! Maybe an interesting belt, or better yet, using a pretty scarf as a belt brings some interest to your ensemble. Other things like light cardigans, fringe vests, & long necklaces are good, too! I also suggest maybe doing some embellishments on your jeans. Maybe sew on some lace material lining the outside of your pockets; or you could try distressing them a bit like I did with a cheese grater & a knife. Little things like that will make your seemingly boring jeans a lot more fun, playful, & unique. & they're such easy things that it won't feel like you're weighed down with layers & layers of jewelry & fabric. They're simple enough, but still intriguing.


I hope you all enjoyed this! Keep the questions coming, please!

Here's your chance....

to ask anything you've wanted to ask about hair, makeup, beauty products, clothing ideas and more. Leave your questions in the comment section and Ev'Yan will address each of them in her new post. For now....the interview continues...

What do you recommend for those days when your hair just doesn't do what it's supposed to do? Short of wearing a hat, I had that problem this morning.

What beauty products do you swear by or use faithfully?

When polishing my fingernails, the nail polish always wears out on the tips by the next day...why is that and what should I do to prevent that?

What do you consider a fashion "do"?

What do you consider a fashion "don't"?


Monday, March 16, 2009

On Being... a fashion extraordinaire.

Hello, everyone! I'm Ev'Yan from apricot-tea.com, & I am absolutely thrilled to be this weeks' guest blogger. I have to say, though, that my mom gives me way too much credit! I am no where close to being an "expert." But I'm happy to share what I already know with all of you. Please, be candid with your questions! I'm glad to help.

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How would you describe your fashion sense?
My fashion sense is a mixture of a lot of things. It's frugal, simple, & genuine. I don't believe in wearing things that don't suit my body (like heels, for instance, which I cannot walk in for the life of me!). I am all about comfort. I also like androgynous looks, & I sometimes get inspiration from men's styles. But I like some feminine things, as well, so I would describe my look as "feminine, with a hard edge." I'm not too keen on bright, bold colors. I'm drawn to monochromatic looks: greys, whites, & blacks of all shades. The more minimalistic the better.

Are there certain outfits that you can't live without and if so, what are they?
I love American Apparel t-shirts. They're so easy to dress up or down. I also like pairing tights with things: distressed shorts, dresses, skirts, etc. My ideal outfit is an American Apparel tee, with frayed shorts, & black opaque tights. I could wear that everyday without shame because it's so comfortable (& simple), yet it's very stylish!

Define beauty.
Beauty, to me, is being 100% genuine. It's being true to yourself without boundaries. Beauty, to me, rarely has anything to do with what you look like on the outside; it has everything to do with who you are on the inside. I always try to remember is that Beauty isn't a goal I'm trying to achieve; it's who I am at this very moment, even if I have bedhead. Beauty is in ALL imperfections, especially if you can take that imperfection & make it uniquely attractive. I think everyone is beautiful.

What was the greatest find that was found at a thrift or used store? How have you used it?
I can't really pin-point one great thing that I found at a thrift store. At one time, though, most of my wardrobe was made up of thrift store clothes, & I somehow got a lot of compliments on the outfits I put together. People would ask me, "Where did you get those shoes? They're amazing!" & when I told them, they were astonished. They were even more astonished when I told them how much I spent on them (usually under $5). I still have some of those shoes today; thankfully, my shoe size is the only thing that hasn't grown over the years! I would like to do more thrift store shopping, eventually. I just need to find a good shop in my area.

What do you recommend for someone that's on a limited budget as far as looking chic and beautiful but for less?
One thing that I like to do is look at what's "In" right now. Look in magazines, websites, & higher end stores, & get an idea of what trends you like. Make a list of the pieces you were drawn too & then go to places like Target, H&M, Ross, Payless, TJ Maxx, even thrift stores to see if you can find pieces that are very similar to the "It" looks. A lot of stores have "knock-offs" -- meaning, replicas of trends in fashion, so you're bound to find something. Even better if you can go to a thrift store & find something vintage that resembles today's "It" items, because you most likely won't spend a lot of money. Especially if the trend is short-lived; you won't feel bad when you know you've only spend $10 on it.

What's the most important accessory that makes the outfit?
Absolutely ANY kind of adornment: berets, scarves, bracelets, necklaces, headbands, shoes. People ask me where to start to make an outfit look "amazing." & I always say that they should find one accessory that they love, & use that as the main focal point of the outfit. It always works! You could wear a seemingly plain, black dress, but have a very bright, fun necklace that makes the entire outfit pop! (Even better if the necklace has colors in it that could match your shoes.) Any kind of accessory -- funky vintage necklaces, a colorful scarf, an intricate bracelet -- can have this effect on your outfits. It's the easiest way to make an outfit unique, so be on the lookout for interesting accessories to complete your look. You'll find that you won't have as many "I don't know what to wear" days when you have a lot of accessories to play around with. (Forever21 has GREAT jewelry & accessories.)

If you could dress in one era....what era would that be and why?
Even though it goes against what I would normally wear, I would love to be in the 1920s era. I love the flapper styles. I love the long dresses, with long pearls & beautiful head-pieces. If I could have any excuse to wear a dress such as that, I would take it. But these days, it's very rare to have that opportunity. Even in the 50s, women would wear such beautiful dresses, & for no other reason but to go to dinner. Sure, I could walk around wearing a dress like that, but people would certainly look at me funny. For me, the next best thing is a maxi dress, which is a modernized version of a long dress.

What is one piece of makeup that you won't do without?
Mascara, definitely! It's the easiest way to liven up your face & make your eyes pop without doing much. I'm also trying to get into the habit of wearing red lipstick often, because it can instantly glamorize your makeup without much effort. The only bad thing is that red lipstick gets everywhere, & I have yet to master the tricks to keep it on my lips & not on my cheeks, teeth, chin, etc. But practice makes perfect!


Pancake says:
What I would love to learn is, how to use make up to make my eyes pop! I have light blue eyes. HELP!
Blue eyes -- ALL eyes -- can be dressed up with any color; it is only limited to your imagination! But to REALLY bring out your blue eyes, brown, bronze, peach, & even a darker shade of blue (like navy) would be perfect for you. If navy is too dark for you, go a few shades lighter. Same with brown, or bronze.
Experiment & play around with all colors. If you don't want to spend a lot of money on eyeshadows, go to a drugstore, & pick out a few inexpensive brands to test out. (Wet N' Wild, CoverGirl, Milani, & Maybelline are great.) Go for any color that you're attracted to. & if you like what you see when you put it against your eyes, then you can consider buying a more high-end brand. But I find that drugstore brands are just as good as "professional", department store brands.

Oh, & don't forget the mascara!

There are no "rules" to makeup or fashion, so don't read too much into "blue eyes should only wear this color, & brown eyes should only wear that color." All that matters is that it looks fantastic on you, & that you feel 100% confident in sporting the look, no matter how seemingly odd or "out there."


Keep the questions coming! :]

Sunday, March 15, 2009

On Being -- A Fashion Extraordinairre

Here is the world's greatest fashion expert...my daughter who has agreed (without pay) to be a guest blogger this week. To give you a bit of background....

She is a licensed cosmetologist, fashion coordinator/consultant, makeup artist, artist, writer for many fashion magazines and has done a bit of modeling. She can take a trash bag and cut holes in it and make it look trendy and fashionable....I kid you not! She would love to answer any and all questions that you may have regarding anything...and I mean anything...pertaining to fashion, clothes, hair, makeup, accessorizing...um...she can even give you some input on makeover suggestions. Her blog, apricot-tea.com is filled with a wealth of information as well as her store where she sells clothing, jewelry and many accessories. Without any further intros...here's my daughter....Ev'Yan.

How would you describe your fashion sense?

Are there certain outfits that you can't live without and if so, what are they?

Define beauty.

What was the greatest find that was found at a thrift or used store? How have you used it?

What do you recommend for someone that's on a limited budget as far as looking chic and beautiful but for less?

What's the most important accessory that makes the outfit?

If you could dress in one era....what era would that be and why?

What is one piece of makeup that you won't do without?

I've started the questions...please join in!!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

More Questions On Being....Black

I got an email with quite a few questions regarding what it's like being Black. I have to give kudos to the emailer....she came up with some questions that must've been circling through her brain for a long time. So without any further ado....

1. Is it true that Black people only wash their hair once a week?
Speaking for myself, yes, I only wash my hair once a week. Reason being....with Black hair, we need the oil which is a necessity for keeping our hair healthy. If it's washed too much, the hair shaft dries out and becomes unhealthy. We also use leave in moisturizer or conditioner to replenish the oils and moisture. As for extensions and weaves, they can be left in for 6 weeks and maybe longer. The hair is either synthetic or human hair. Please don't ask me where they get the hair because I have no idea. No, I don't wear a weave and don't have a desire to wear one. I'm all about being real.

2. Why do Black people name their kids long or unusual names?
My theory could be wrong but I believe that it stems back in slavery when the slaves were given names by the slave owner. The ability to name your child or yourself didn't exist. Being able to name your child whatever you dang please has a certain sense of "power" for some and they run away with that power by naming their children names such as Quaniquashaya Rria. Uniqueness is one thing but there is responsibility in naming a child (in my opinion). I believe that it's a personal choice.

3. What is one pet peeve that you have about being Black?
I hate when people that aren't Black will "name drop" or say, "My best friend is Black" when talking to me. It means nothing to me if your best friend is purple. I also hate being talked down to or condescending tones from older people who act as if I can't relate to what they are saying or talking about. Another thing I HATE is when talking to some women who act as if Oprah is God's gift to Black women. I'm sorry to admit this but some Black women aren't avid fans of Oprah's...me being one of them. I admire her giving spirit but there are so many other Black women that I would emulate before I choose to emulate her.

4. Have you ever been singled out because of being Black?
Yes. Many times I've been followed in a store as if the sales person was waiting for me to stick something in my purse. My daughter was accused of stealing from Claires when packages were discovered opened and jewlery missing. When questioned about why they suspected them as stealing, the manager's response was, "Well, they had braids and looked like they could be "suspicious". Turns out that there were 5 other teens in the store at the time and they were the ones stealing. Claire's never apologized, although we chose to boycott and not go to the store in the mall where we lived from that point on.

If you have any questions you'd like to ask, this is an open invitation for it. I appreciate being able to be honest. I don't believe in BSing anyone when it comes to my opinions.